Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
