omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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