I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
