Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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