I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
