why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
