don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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