We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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