Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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