So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
