I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize