Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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