I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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