rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
