I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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