So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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