I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
