Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
