I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
All the doctor said was why
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
