there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
