what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
