i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
