You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
