yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
