I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
