I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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