every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
