Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
