So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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