yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
