I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize