I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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