i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
