he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
