Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
