Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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