...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
