If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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