so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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