i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
