Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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