you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize