I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
