I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
