singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just cropdusted the office
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize