Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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