Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
