No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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