Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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