Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
