You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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