3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
