I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
false alarm, still single
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