Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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