my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
