What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
