I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
