Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
