He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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