dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
