dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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