I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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