Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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