I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
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