stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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