Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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