they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Two words: blizzard sex
You were trust falling into bushes
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
