okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
