i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
