please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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